We went to the Wild Animal Park yesterday. In case you’re thinking of going, here are some things to keep in mind.

1. Wear good walking shoes. Things are spread apart and, unless you fit in a stroller or can talk someone into pushing you in a wheelchair, you’re going to have to walk to see what you want to see.

2. The map can be deceiving. At some points on the trail, it seems like it could be to scale. At other times, especially when you’re going up hill, it can seem horribly off.

3. Read the fine print on the map. By that I mean that where the map says there’s a steep slope, it really means that they would have put in a switchback if they had had space for it.

4. Don’t go in the afternoon unless it’s sometime between November and February unless you enjoy the heat. If you’re going to go between March and October, go early in the morning. Even the animals know this. You won’t see them out walking in the heat of the day. They fight and crowd for shade and just lay there in it. The rhinos even roll in the mud to keep cool.

5. It’s not worth paying extra for Preferred Passes for the Journey Through Africa Safari. If you really want to go on it, wait out the line. It would probably be best first thing in the morning. It’s one of those things that you’d have to be first to because the line gets pretty long. And really, all you’re going to see is giraffes, rhinos and various species of deer and antelope. (If you’re a member, it’s free.)

6. Take lots of water and drink it.

7. The flamingos stink. Bad. Be prepared. Just trust me on this one.

8. Read the sign at the gorillas. Don’t stare at them – it’s rude and they might moon you if do.

And last, but not least…
9. Don’t tell your mom that you’ll eat her up or you won’t get your supper.