There was a guy on the train today that had a very private conversation very publicly.  I was a few rows away from him but heard every word.  Unfortunately for Gregg, he was sitting directly across the table from him.  Here’s a combination of mine and Gregg’s accounts of the conversation:

Hey Ted….  Yeah, so Janie tried to kill herself last night, or at least made it LOOK that way….  Yeah, I found her laying naked on the floor covered in blood with a barbeque fork next to her and a big cooking knife next to that…. Yeah, she’d poked herself a few times with the fork but didn’t use the knife…..  Yep, called the paramedics and they took her to a mental institution…….  I’m going to go in on Monday and file a restraining order.  I’m so done with it…….  Yeah – next time it could be me!  ….. so anyway, I’ve got a rental truck coming…. Yeah, I spent three hours cleaning up blood last night.  It was real fun. …. I talked to her sister and she said there’s nothing I can do but I told her I just wanted you to know……  she’s so out …… so that’s all there is so why don’t you meet me around 8 o’clock tonight and you can help me move out ….. (long pause then even LOUDER starts laughing and slaps the table (hard – it made me jump four rows away) and says) …..  I know!  But whatcha gonna do? ……  Ok – talk to you later.”

You can’t make this stuff up.